Quote of the Day (2014-07-31)

Sir Humphrey: "So I gather, you denied that Mr. Halifax's phone had been bugged?"

Jim Hacker: "Well obviously, it was the one question today to which I could give a clear, simple, straightforward, honest answer."

Sir Humphrey: "Yes, unfortunately although the answer was indeed clear, simple and straightforward, there is some difficulty in justifiably assigning to it the fourth of the epithets you applied to the statement, inasmuch as the precise correlation between the information you communicated and the facts insofar as they can be determined and demonstrated is such as to cause epistemological problems of sufficient magnitude to lay upon the logical and semantic resources of the English language a heavier burden than they can reasonably be expected to bear."

Jim Hacker: "Epistemological? What are you talking about?"

Sir Humphrey: "You told a lie."

Jim Hacker: "A lie??"

Sir Humphrey: "A lie."

Jim Hacker: "What do you mean a lie?"

Sir Humphrey: "I mean you ... lied. Yes I know, this is a difficult concept to get across to a politician. You ..... ah yes, you did not tell the truth.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-07-30)

Becky: Verbal ability is a highly overrated thing in a guy, and it's our pathetic need for it that gets us into so much trouble.

Source: Sleepless in Seattle

Quote of the Day (2014-07-29)

Carol: OK, we all have these terrible stories to get over, and you-...

Melvin Udall: It's not true. Some have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that's their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good.

Source: As Good As It Gets

Quote of the Day (2014-07-27)

Cletus: He really speaks to me, the average Joe six-tooth.

Cletus's Wife: When did you get another tooth?

Cletus: The sidewalk.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2014-07-26)

[while engaging in a "battle of wits"]

Westley: You've made your decision, then?

Vizzini: Not remotely! Because iocaine comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

Westley: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Vizzini: Wait till I get going!

[pause]

Vizzini: Where was I?

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2014-07-25)

Sir Humphrey: "We must, in my view, always have the right to promote the best man for the job, regardless of sex."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-07-23)

Macaulay Connor: Uh-oh, Liz, what did I tell you? Look, how do you like this - living room, sitting room, terrace, pool, stables.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: That's probably so they can talk to the horses without having them in the house.

Source: The Philadelphia Story

Quote of the Day (2014-07-22)

When danger reared its ugly head he bravely turned his tail and fled. Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2014-07-21)

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!



(pause)



Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.



(pause)



Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Source: Monty Python's Flying Circus

Quote of the Day (2014-07-20)

Victor Melling: Why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"?

Gracie Hart: Because "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" wouldn't fit on a license plate?

Source: Miss Congeniality

Quote of the Day (2014-07-19)

Why would I be a leg man? I don't need legs. I have legs.

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2014-07-18)

Peter Joshua: Is there a Mr. Lampert?

Reggie Lampert: Yes.

Peter Joshua: Good for you.

Reggie Lampert: No it isn't, I'm getting a divorce.

Peter Joshua: Please! Not on my account.

Source: Charade

Quote of the Day (2014-07-16)

Derek Zoolander: Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.

Source: Zoolander

Quote of the Day (2014-07-15)

Homer: It's easy to be president. Just point the army and shoot.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2014-07-14)

"This is our best model, the Cougar 9000. It's the Rolls Royce of wheelchairs. This is like, you're almost glad to be handicapped."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2014-07-13)

Bernard Woolley: "They cannot stop us eating the British sausage, can they?"

Jim Hacker: "They can stop us calling it a sausage though. Apparently it has got to be called the Emulsified High-Fat Offal Tube."

Bernard Woolley: "And you swallowed it?"

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-07-12)

George: "Beautiful women... Ya know, they get away with murder. You never see one of them lift anything over three pounds. They do whatever they want, whenever they want to, and nobody can stop them."

Jerry: "She's like a beautiful Godzilla."

George: "And I'm thousands of fleeing Japanese!

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2014-07-11)

Peter Gibbons: I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up "money laundering" in the dictionary.

Source: Office Space

Quote of the Day (2014-07-10)

Basil Fawlty: [about Sybil's laugh] Sounds like somebody machine-gunning a seal.

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2014-07-09)

Niles: That bit of inspired lunacy you heard before the commercial was just a little docudrama Frasier and I put together on the dangers of over-medication. Bravo, Frasier, for so brilliantly demonstrating why they call it "dope."

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2014-07-07)

Sir Arnold: "But once they have accepted the principle that senior civil servants could be removed for incompetence, that would be the thin end of the wedge. We could loose dozens of our chaps, hundreds perhaps."

Sir Humphrey: "Thousands..."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-07-06)

Olive Penderghast: Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2014-07-05)

Sir Humphrey: "Arnold, are you suggesting that I should have the Prime Minister crawling all over Salisbury Plain, with a mine detector in one hand and a packet of Winalot in the other?"

Sir Arnold: "It would probably do Britain less harm than anything else he is likely to be doing."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-07-04)

Rebecca: You know, I really think I can put together a great Thanksgiving dinner. This'll be the second one that I've cooked, and believe me, the first one was not the disaster that my family said it was. Those kids had a pretty good time in that ambulance.

Source: Cheers

Quote of the Day (2014-07-03)

Jim Hacker: "I have made a policy decision. I am going to do something about the number of women in the Civil Service."

Sir Humphrey: "Surely there aren't all that many?"

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2014-07-02)

Miracle Max: Have fun storming the castle!

Source: The Princess Bride